A father. A son of a NASA associate involved with the Apollo Missions. A rocker. A player of Pong. Our dear friend, Dick Lazer, is a strange, awesome brew of a person. If you have ever had the opportunity to game with him, I can personally promise you will have a good time. He has also been with the Gunslingers since the “early days,” so it is fitting to set aside some time to learn more about what makes him tick during the month of June: the Six Year Anniversary of the Gunslingers. Pick your poison, kick your boots up, and enjoy the following rather untamed interview!
GS: You have been a Gunslinger since July 2009. You have probably seen more changes around these parts than most people. Do you remember the first Gunslinger with whom you gamed? What is a favorite memory of yours?
Dick Lazer: Lets see, the first person I met here was Missie (Sissy) in the chat. She was so nice and inviting. I thought it was awesome she was from Denmark. Then, I met Murph, Korchie, and Freddy, but the first person/people after that I played with, I think, (LOL) were Miranda and you, Murph, on The Conduit.
After that, I found out this was mainly a MKW (Mario Kart Wii) clan, which I had, loved, and had more than a blast on many occasions. Back to the question. One of my fondest memories would have to be the Christmas video you made on Reflex, and I was playing under my doppelganger name of NoNeck (going back to my habit of calling people “no necked m’er f’ers”) and at the very end I’m t’baggin some poor soul. I remember it like it was yesterday. Loper walks up and says, “Oh, I don’t think I want any part of this,” and backed out of the scene. LMFAO.
[*The Video in Question:]
GS: Before we get too far, let’s talk about your username. Now, your real first name is Richard, but what is the story behind the use of “Dick Lazer.” If I recall correctly, there is an amusing story attached to the name being used in real life, yes?
Dick Lazer: Okay, there is no real big story behind my name. When I was a kid, my dad worked for NASA, the Apollo missions. Anyway, there was this guy who worked for my dad. He was real cool, and was in charge of some kind of lasers. His name was Dick Laser. My friends always thought it was funny to call me Dick, seeing that my name is Richard. (Kids are just great. I wont tell you my last name, just that kids also called me “rich turd hog barf”, @ssholes. LOL) So, as soon as you could put your whole name on your high score in the arcades, Dick Lazer I was.
My name Dick Lazer has passed into my real life. Hell, my plates on my truck read D LAZER. So, into a shortened version of said story: I was just leaving the liquor store, driving down the road, and there’s a bunch of people in the road, all drinking, talking shit. I’m just trying to get by, and this big ol’ dude, mad dogging me; talking shit, calls me out with a few “f yous” and “I’ll kick yer f’ing ass.” So, I throw it in park (Yeah, I might have had a drink or two, and might be pretty large myself—not as large as him—but stout) and step out of the truck, when a guy comes running out of the house saying, “Hey man, don’t f@!# with him. That’s Dick Lazer!!” The other dude says, “That’s Dick Lazer??” He says, “Yeah, look at his plate” (D LAZER). Anyway, he looked and smiled at me. Turns out these guys came to a lot of our shows and were big fans, and, honestly, I believe my name just might have saved my ass. I was alone. HAHA.
GS: In addition to being an ever active Gunslinger and once donning the GS Leader cap, you have been kind enough to include a few of your songs in the GS Jukebox. Do you still practice your craft? Which bands are among your all-time greatest influences?
Dick Lazer: Yes, I do. Can’t stop. I don’t really have a band as much these days, just a couple of friends I like to make noise with. Still recording as much as possible. I recently digitally remastered a few songs from a band I was in in the ’90s. I will get you some fresh tunes for the GS Jukebox. Hell, we have better versions of those songs now, I think. My major influences growing up were mostly Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, and Rush. Later, I moved more into Ozzy Osbourne, Slayer, and Pantera. Page, Iommi, Lee, Lifeson, Rhoads (RIP), King, Hanneman (RIP), and Darrel (RIP) all speak to me.
[*Footage of Dick Lazer Playing COD back in 2009 cut to "I Wanna Scare People," a song performed by him and his band, So Below.]
GS: You first signed up with GS as a Wii owner. Then you moved to the PS3. Now, you representing on the Xbox360. What was the first game you ever owned? Looking down the barrel of the next generation of consoles, have you made up your mind on which one you may or may not be getting?
Dick Lazer: Nintendo forever. Anything else, never!! LOL. I still have the Wii, and the PS3 (stopped reading bluray ;( ), but, yes, the XBox is my new frontier. (Speaking of which, TripleF73 just signed on, LOL.) My first game? I was very lucky that my dad loved new things. I had Pong the first Christmas it was released, then Atari and Intellivision right there after. Both my parents loved video games. Thefirst Nintendo didn’t come out until after I moved out, but my mom still bought one, day one.
Next, Next Gen? The jury is out. I just don’t know yet. I wont know until next year. My wife wants to get an XBoxOne at Christmas, but I’m not so sure. I think I’ll wait for a couple of updates, and a price drop!!
GS: There is a term in gaming called “bromances.” There is none as legend at GS as the long time one between you and GS*Freddy. What games are you playing together now? How on earth can you two stand each other after all this time?
Dick Lazer: What can I say, Freddy (Jay ). I first met him during my first Frosty Pints on The Conduit, then next on MKW and COD: Reflex. I can happily say I haven’t gone a week (most of the time, a day) without talking to my bro. Nowadays, we are playing BO2, zombies and MP, and a little Forza 4. Mostly COD, though. It’s always been our thing. Playing Reflex is when we really got tight. “Stand each other?” HAHA, we are like brothers. We piss each other off to no end!! But, you know? I wouldn’t have it any other way. At the end of the day, we are still brothers. I think of his wife, Sammie, as a sister, and his son, Tbear, as my nephew. I love them all. Thanks again for making this site for me, BTW.
GS: As a husband and father in your family life, what is a day like in the Lazer household? How does the rest of the family regard gaming? Is there any advice you can give other parents who are seeing their children drawn into gaming habits as well?
Dick Lazer: My life is like most of yours: Get up, kids to school, us to work, blah blah, coffee coffee. We are a gaming family, though (go figure). Let’s see, living room, my area: 360, PS3, and Wii. My wife is a PC gamer, so it’s World of Warcraft for her on her Vaio. She is very high ranked in her guild. My oldest has a lappy for WOW, and a PS3, N64, and GameCube in her room, and my seven year old has a Wii and a Nexus tablet. She prefers her tablet. I believe you should just let the kids game from the get-go. Yes, stuff has to get done…chores, rooms clean, whatnot. But, if video games are “no big deal,” then that’s exactly what they are. No big deal. My kids have all sorts of shit to play with, but I’m always catching them with these things, maybe you heard of them. They call them books. They like boardgames, too. LOL,
GS: There is a rumor that you are no longer welcome at Disneyland. Is this true? Elaborate if so inclined.
Dick Lazer: Well, uh,….mmm, erm….Let’s just say I HAVE visited DisneyLand and World many times since said incident, which may or may not have happened, and may have happened like this…..It was late spring, nineteen-eighty-something. We may have been in a group of eight. One of which may have been my girlfriend/wife now, one might have been her father, and just maybe her little sister. We had five friends come along to help me move (moved to Cali from AZ) star tours was brand new, and after a couple hours we may have decided, the 6 of us (dad and lil’ sis were off doing their own thing) to head out to the parking lot for a lil’ 420 action before we got on Star Tours. (Hey, it was the ’80s.) Anyway, you would not believe how powerful binoculars are. Before the bowl even got around, we were surrounded by Mickey’s freakin’ SWAT team!! Well, four of us were 18+ (barely), and two were 17. 18+ in Cali, no biggee. Under 18? BIGGEE!!! So, the two underagers were taken to Mickey Mouse Jail (no shit, LOLl) until dad was found (yes, my girl might have been one of the underagers :O ), and we remaining four were threatened with Orange County jail. When they found her dad, he said, “Kick ‘em out. I’ll meet them at the car when the park closes.” He met us afterward and never said a word. So long story short, no real law was called. They just said we were 86′ed for life.
Three things to be learned here:
1.) Don’t smoke at Disneyland. You’ll get caught.
2.) If you do, don’t worry. They wont take your weed.
3.) 86′ed, schmay-ty 6′ed. We went back the next day. LOL.
GS: You seem to be a zombie game fan, particularly with the first Call of Duty: Black Ops feature. Does that stem from a more broad appreciation for horror films? If so, what films are among your favorites?
Dick Lazer: I just loves me some zombies!! Wanna play? LOL. Yes, I love zombie flicks. AnythingGeorge Romero has done is golden for what it is, but my favorites would have to be, not in any order: Shawn of the Dead (“All we have to do is get back to the pub mate,” LOL), Zombie Land (“Rule #1: Cardio, the fattys were the first to go,” hehe), and 28 Days Later. 28 Days Later was real to me. If it’s going to go down, it’s going to go like that. I’m looking forward to World War Z. I read the book, and the movie doesn’t have anything to do with it but the name really, but it looks freakin’ crazy awesome. Tidal waves of crazed, flesh eating people? Really? Sweet.
GS: What was the oddest birthday gift you ever received?
Dick Lazer: I got this thing from my brother one year. It’s like a stamper, and you stamp a piece of bread, then toast it. After it’s toasted, the following appears: there’s a picture of a hand flipping the bird and says, “F#ck Y@u,“…but it has the ‘u’ and ‘o’. LOL.
So, I guess I got f#ck y@u toast, once.
GS: What is your favorite drink?
Dick Lazer: My drink is a Pile Driver (named it myself, *hic*). It’s one part vodka, one part OJ, and one part Mountain Dew: Code Red. Mix in a big ol’ tumbler. No ice. Put your vodka in the freezer, and it’s your ice now. Two of them, and you’ll understand the name.
Thank you for being a Gunslinger and a friend all these gaming years, Lazer. Also, thank you, readers, for taking the time to read this interview. If you would like to comment on it, you are welcome to do so AT THIS LINK.